My day went much better today, probably the best day I have had over the last few weeks. I had a wonderful lunchtime at the lake in the castle park with Charlotte and then had a nice quiet few hours together after college by the castle with Charlotte. I was feeling much happier about today, but unfortunately, bad luck and problems struck again later in the evening. I am looking forward to Charlotte's and my 1 year anniversary on Friday the 10th, hoping to have a nice day, hoping everything can be sorted out. Hoping... that is what I do. This is a public blog and I realise that it's neither the place to talk about personal problem, and not the content that you want to read, but somehow writing about things makes me feel better, so i'll give it a try. I feel very insecure at the moment, I feel a huge black cloud following me around and I think its because I am missing two very important parts of my relationship, respect and time. This is a strange topic, time obviously we all wish we had more of it, but somehow I feel that i'm losing the small amount of time that I have. Respect, this is a difficult one to explain, but the best example i can suggest is this: Imagine being commited to a job, a job that you enjoy doing and WANT to finish, while every time you try to do it, you get nothing but negative feedback, your employer telling you that it's not good enough, or even the opposite, that it's too good and is making everyone else look bad. I don't know, maybe that was a bad example, but it's how I am feeling at the moment. I wish there was some magic button I could press to make everything right, but even after hours of playing around with logic, i cannot structure the code to do it. (For those of you who are totally confused, what i mean is, it doesnt matter how much i think about it, i cant place what is wrong or why). If anyone has any ideas or advise, please do contact me, my details are available on the contact page of this website. Thanks for reading, somehow, every time you read this i feel better inside - yeah, i know, it doesn't make any difference to the problem.

I have recently been working on a new instant messaging system, as an alternative to Windows Live Messenger, Yahoo Instant Messenger and other similar IM networks, this system is entirely web based. It uses an SQL database to temporarily store a conversation between 2 or more users. Users are authenticated before accessing the interface, and automatically, names and addresses are added ready for live chat. The system models MSN messenger, except does not have the ability to interact with the user desktop, and has no "status" of users. It is very basic and currently only works with text, but hey, before recent years, that's all IM was about :) It's not great and currently is not a publicly avialable service, but in testing between 2 people or in a group conversation, this is a good alternative that doesn't require anything except a working internet connection and a fiarly modern web browser. If you want to give it a try, there is a guest account open and set up, the username is "guest" and the password is "password" this allows as many users to sign in as guest, although, everyone will appear as guest because the user details are provided on logon.
http://talk.techtoad.co.uk - feel free to give it a try! If i happen to be using it when you try it, i'll say hello :)

While i'm here, i'll give you the latest: Things are going well at college and I am really enjoying all my classes, especially computing. Unfortunatley, things could be better in my personal life, which would make me feel happier in college, but hopefully things will pick up and everything will be "hunky dory" as my mum would say.

I had a job interview at the local PC World today, i sent my CV off before I started college in hope for some part time work, after experiencing the work load of college, i had second thoughts. I went to the interview all the same, and spoke about working only one day per week, maybe on a sunday, i don't really need the money that much, but the experience would be good. The interview went well and I am waiting for a call back to notify me how it went. Not really to worried, it will be a good experience if i get the job and a little bit more money will help me persue my hobbies and desires, but if not, look on the bright side, 9 hours more relaxation at the weekend!

I'm feeling quite upset at the moment, I had a really bad week last week and didn't feel like writing about it because it's not the kind of thing you want to read, but this week is going better, there are still a few things that are making me feel down, but as i mentioned earlier, hopefully things will pick up.

Guess that's it from me, hope everyone is enjoying school/college/work/life/holiday - whatever your doing!